Growing up, going to church was an important weekly ritual. It’s wasn’t great. Not terrible. My parents required my attendance in church until I was in 9th grade and then it was my choice whether to go or not. I chose not to. I still prayed on occasion, but mainly asked God to make me more popular at school and to make me irrisistible to the boy I had a crush on that week.

I went along my merry way until at 19 years old when a relationship I thought was headed toward marriage, crumbled. I became so sad that I resigned myself to the fact that if I had to carry this pain for the rest of my life, I couldn’t do it. Friends and family can only console you so much, you know.

Since I didn’t want to end my life, I set out on a quest to reacquaint myself with God. I visited many churches, looking for one where the people were “serious about God.” I found one. After a few months, I wanted to meet the pastor and ask him a few questions about my friends of different faiths.

Well, I don’t remember what his answers were but I do remember that he asked me this question, “Lisa, if you were to die tonight and God were to ask you, ‘why should I let you into my heaven?’ what would you say?”

I didn’t know the answer but I thought it must have been something like, ‘I tried my best to be a good person and not hurt anyone’.

Then he explained to me how my sin, kept me apart from God. (Isaiah 59:2) But that God wanted me to live forever with him in heaven. (2 Peter 3:09) Therefore, God had a dilemma. How to get me into heaven? So he sent Jesus to earth to die as a substitute for me, like a pitch hitter (my word picture) (2Cor 5:21). And if I believed that Jesus did that, (and by “believe” I mean that my actions and life would be the proof of my words and my thoughts) that I would get to go to heaven (Acts 16:30). And not only that, I would discover why I’m on this earth in the first place (Ps. 139:16).

After that, the pastor asked me if I wanted to invite Jesus Christ into my life. And what was my response to the pastor?

I was so insulted I wanted to scream!

I knew all that! At least, I had heard bits and pieces of that story my whole life! OK…well… maybe I couldn’t put all the pieces together the way he did, but I definitely had heard all that before. How utterly embarrassing! How did I get into this mess?

Now it was I, not God, who had the dilemma.

On the one hand, I thought I already was a Christian and so I wanted to tell the pastor “no” to the invitation of Christ. On the other hand, I really was desperate to know God better than I had known him growing up. So I had a major battle going on in my mind between my pride and my desperation.

I finally chose desperation over pride and prayed to invite Jesus into my life. But only on the outside! The real sparks would fly after I got to my car that night.

It was a crunchy January night and about 30 degrees below zero. Inside my car I trembled from the cold and shook from my shock and disbelief at what had just happened. I burst into tears and cried out in horror as I drove away from the church, “Why did he think I don’t know you, Lord?! Who have I been praying to all these years if it’s not you? DON’T YOU KNOW ME?

Well, I didn’t get an answer. Not just then anyway.

I kept attending that church and got involved in Bible studies and classes and retreats. I learned how to study the Bible in ways I had never known before. I learned how to pray and how to share my faith with others. I started a whole new life! It was so cool. I had never known what it was to live in a spiritual dimension at the same time as a human existence.

After about a year, God answered that question I had hurled at him (“Don’t you know me?). He made it clear to me, without using any words, that all those years growing up, I had been ACQUAINTED with Him, but I was never COMMITTED to him.

I don’t know what your background is with church or with God. But I do know that having tender feelings toward God and praying on occasion is not the same thing as having a relationship with Him. I’ve tried it. It’s fruitless and boring.

What I’ve discovered is that the God of the Bible is real, personal, communicative, funny, holy, perfect, understanding, comforting, directing, patient and kind.

And since you can’t get to know someone unless you spend time with the, the same is true with God. Forget what others have told you about him. They may be right, they may be wrong. Forget Christians who have hurt you. That’s history. Everybody’s on a journey making mistakes as they go, but they are merely obstacles that you can jump over on this marathon race with Jesus Christ.

If you’re just getting started, find a church that is passionate about knowing Jesus Christ and considers the Bible the inspired Word of God. But don’t expect going to church to be the end-all. That’s just the beginning! Get into a good Bible study with people who are crazy about God and are growing in their love and knowledge of him…people who are becoming more like Jesus every day.

Then make it a point to find friends who you can walk this journey of faith with. I promise you, you will never regret running after God with all your might! But you must seek after him! He has already sought after you, bought your life with His, and he knows the paths you should take! Not only that he’s crazy about you!!

If you need a sugesstion for a church near you, call KTIS at 651-631-5000 or go on-line at www.ktis.fm and look for church-finder.

I’m praying for you!

Lisa Barry
9AM- 2PM Midday’s on KTIS Radio 98.5